Sad dream

I had a very sad dream last night. I was at a party with lots of old pals. It was a party for Alexius, a going away party. He was very ill, and I had come to say good-bye. He made a special late arrival, and gave me a big hug. We were very happy to see each other. Later in the evening, I walked into the bedroom he was resting in. A woman was giving him a hug good-bye, and it was too emotional for him. He saw me and knew I wanted the same, and, despite his poor health and weak limbs, he ran away, through the house, and into a waiting truck. I bolted after him and arrived breathless at the vehicle before he pulled away. "Can I please get a hug good-bye, Lex? Cause I didn't last time and it's been very difficult." I got the hug I needed, and he drove away.
It's been a year and a half since his death and I don't think of him every day anymore but I guess I still yearn for the closure I never had. Here is a photo of us with 3 month old Haley from August 2002. This was our last visit together.

She's walking!

Alexa, little charmer that she is, decided to take her first (happy)
steps at my brother's new home on Ashbury this evening! She has taken
a few unassisted steps before this, but only by tricking her and
pretending you are holding on to her, then after two steps she would
get REALLY MAD (as only a baby can get mad!) and then fall onto her
tush. But tonight she was repeatedly taking 5-10 steps on her own and
was really happy about it! It was really funny when Haley pretended to
be a baby and take her first steps, too. So great to see the blatant
jealousy. Alexa is waling a full two months later than Haley, but
thank god - those two months make all the difference. At 14 months,
Alexa knows to stop, whereas at one year and three days, Haley didn't
care if she was walking off a cliff, as long as she was walking!

New URL

Okay, I fixed a bug in our website. So much for idiot proof, Mr. Jobs...
The new URL is:
web.mac.com/jvbaum
Maybe I'll stay up past my bedtime another night and move our blog over there, too.

Alexa update

Alexa and I went to the pediatrician today. Just like her sister, she's in the 25th percentile. How do Felix and I, 6'2" and 5'8", have such tiny little girls? Weird! Her head is in the 8th %ile, but she gets that honestly (my mom, sis and I all have tiny heads). The pediatrician was very impressed with her verbal capacity. At 13 months, she says:
Mama
Dadda
Haley
Have that (first sentence was "Have that, Haley!")
What's that
Milk
Dog
Uh-oh
Hi
Bye
Plus she blows kisses, waves hi and bye (with the palm of her hand facing herself, too cute), and kisses on the lips when you ask for a kiss or you say "I love you."
Damn she's cute!

Our web page

Check out our web page! I update it often...
http://web.mac.com/jvbaum/iWeb/DaBaum/Welcome.html

The Pink Marker

Haley, 4, came running in the kitchen this evening with a pink marker in her right hand and the cap in her left. She had been home from school for three hours. Her left arm was covered in fresh pink dots and circles.
"Mommy - we had a special artist come to school today and do face painting and look what she did to my arm!"
"Um, Haley, are you telling me the truth? Cause you've kind of got the open marker in the same color in your hand."
"No! This just happens to match! The special artist did this at school!"
"Oh, wow, a special artist, how cool!"
"Yeah, mama, it was really cool!"
And she goes trapsing back to her playroom.
I told Felix about this at dinner.
"Daddy, Haley has a mystery that needs to be solved. She said she had an artist come to her school to do face painting, but her arm was clean when she left school and wasn't covered with pink dots until later on, when she ran into the kitchen with the magic marker in her hand."
"The face painter painted her arm and not her face? And it didn't show up till later? Oh, well, I think we should ask her teachers tomorrow morning," he said
"NO!" Haley yelled, "it's a secret! You can't tell them! We're not allowed to talk to the teachers about it!"
Meanwhile, Alexa, 13 months, sat in her high chair, tossing bits of food, her sippy cup, and the blocks Haley was using to build a tower, off the edge, one by one. She would watch them hit the ground, and say "uh-oh!"

Kiss Hug Kiss

I have taught Alexa to give kisses. While holding her, I say, "Give mama a kiss" and she leans in and presses her little open lips against mine. So cute! She's such a sweetie.

With Haley, saying good bye or good night is a really big deal. It's not just that you do it, either - it's how you do it. It's gotta be a kiss, and then a hug, and then a kiss. It's very sweet, but also totally funny how controlling she is about it. In fact, the one and only time she ever hit another child was when she was 2.5 at the end of a playdate - she hit Emma because she wouldn't give her a kiss! Now that's tough love!

tooth brusher & the stages of life

Alexa climbed up the bathroom sink stool by herself, grabbed a toothbrush in her fat little hand, and began to brush her teeth. She turns one in 8 days. She has 4 teeth.

Haley: "First you are in your mommy's tummy and you are this big, then you are born, then you are a baby, then a big girl, then a baby sitter, then you have a bat mitzvah and then you are a grown-up."

Girlie #5!

Yesterday we found out that my sister is having a girl! The fifth of the cousins, she'll be the fifth girl! I told Haley this morning, and she said, "So it's going to be 5 girls? I think that's a little too much. But it's enough."

Alexa's first sentence

Alexa said her first sentence the other day. To the untrained ear, it sounded like she said, "Hadat! Hadat Hagee!" But I new she wanted Haley's pizza and was saying "Have that! Have that Haley!"

4 is harder than 2

I thought two year olds were hard to manage. Wow, I had no idea.

Haley is 4. Four and two months. And she is the most impossible, chatty, egocentric little thing. It always has to be her way and all about her. We were leaving the house the other day, and she told me we were out of milk boxes and only had one juice box left. Great, thanks for telling me, helpful girl! We're also almost out of milk. We'll stop by the grocery store after the gym.

A couple of hours later we arrive at the market. Her sister is asleep in the car seat, so I rested the car seat in the front section of the shopping cart. Haley demanding that she be put in the food section of the cart. I explained to her that we were at the market for her food, and that we wouldn't be able to get it if she sat there. "I'm too tired to walk!" she wailed. "But Haley, there won't be any room for YOUR food," I explained. "But Mommy! I'm too tired to walk!" "Well, then perhaps we should go home and take naps instead of shopping and going to our friend's place for brunch." "NO MOMMY! I'm not tired for a nap! Put me in the shopping cart NOW!" This lady walked by and gave me a nasty look. "Okay, honey, you can get in the cart. Where should we put your juice boxes?" "On my lap." And with that, she sat in the cart, opened her sticker book, and enjoyed the free lift.

You can probably see this one coming. "OW! Mommy, you hurt me! Don't put the juice boxes on me! You're crushing my sticker book! The yogurt is too cold on my legs!"

Somehow, and with great speed, we managed to get through the store. While unloading the cart on the belt, I picked her up and set her in a chair by the window, directly across from the register, with her sticker book. Once I was rung up, Alexa woke up hungry, so I fed her with one of the jars of baby food I had just bought. Which is funny, cause that's the first time I've ever actually bought jars of baby food for Alexa! I've been making my own, which is super easy - steam and puree and freeze in ice cube trays - but she ate a giant piece of chicken yesterday at a party. I'm a vegetarian, and so is Haley, mostly, although without really being aware of it - she just doesn't choose to eat it. She's always been a pick eater. So I bought jars of food with meat in it so Alexa can have the meat she obviously wants. She loved it!

These girls are so different it's mind blowing. Alexa, now six weeks shy of her first birthday, has eaten everything I've put in front of her, including olives, spiced chicken, a dill pickle, pizza with onions and mushrooms. She rarely passes up food. Haley eats, she eats, well, beige food. Haley is on a beige diet. Macaroni and cheese, waffles, raisin bran, noodles with butter, crackers, pb&j with the crust cut off (she won't eat the crust and eats less of the sandwich if I don't cut the crust off. God forbid her lips should touch the crust. That said, her real favorites are tofu, broccoli, grapes and strawberries, the last two being her favorite dessert. I wish I was raised like that!

Tonight was exceptionally difficult. Haley went back to school for the first time today since last Tuesday (it's Monday). She had a fever all last week and for the early part of the weekend. She didn't nap this afternoon, and was tired and cranky by 6pm. At 7:30, after her bath, F was getting ready to read to the two of them. Haley was being very rough with Alexa, and we told her if she picked her up one more time, no books before bed. Well, boundary tester that she is, she picked her up. And off to bed she went, but not without a lot of tears and yelling. "Be nice to me," she told me. I said, "Haley, I love you and I want to be nice to you but you have to be gentle with Alexa and you have to listen to me."

F and I agree that the most important thing is to be consistent with them. So when I said no books if you p/u Alexa, and then she picked up Alexa, he was right on it with me and we shuffled them off to bed. It wasn't easy, it certainly wasn't fun, but perhaps she'll think twice about picking up her poor, long-suffering little sister tomorrow night during story time.

Baby Dash

We went to visit Mary and Peter and their sweet new baby Dash yesterday. Finally, another boy in the community! So many girls. I got so busy playing lactation counselor that I totally forgot to take photos. Fortunately, Mary & my boss was there earlier in the day and she shot a few. He's adorable - pale, white skin like his daddy and long, narrow eyes like his mama. 8 lbs, 9 oz, 20.5 inches. Here he is in all his 5 hour old glory:

Camp

Haley's been in camp this whole week.
Monday was her first day, and when I picked her up, she said, "Mommy! We played the best game! Everyone sits around in a circle, and one person walks around and taps everybody on the head and says, 'duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, goose!' And then you get chased! It's so fun!"

Tuesday, she told me she did Pilates at camp (they do offer Pilates at the location, so it's possible). "Really?" I said. "Yes - it was fun! It was kind of like my tae kwondo class but only the teacher wore the white outfit." "Honey, I think you did karate." "NO. It was Pilates. Definitely."

1+1 = 4

While getting both girls in the car today, I asked Haley, "how many kids do I have?"
And she said, "two."
"Then how come it feels like I have four?"
"Oh, because I am four, Mommy!"
As usual, she nailed it. ;)

Today in Motherhood

I worked all day - left the house at 9am after an hour at the computer and drove to a meeting in Palo Alto, then had lunch in SF with a client (and Mary!) at the fabulous Il Fornaio. Got home 15 minutes late, thank god the nanny is so amazingly sweet and understanding. She and Alexa were lying on the bedroom floor playing. Alexa is days away from crawling; she was on her tummy smiling and smelling delicious from her bath. I raced out of the house with her - she was extremely unconscious by the time we arrived at Haley's school, so I had a parent keep an eye on her while I retrieved Haley. 9.
We went to the gym - I nursed Alexa for the first time since 6am (you should've seen us all in bed, Felix sleeping under a big pillow, Alex calmly nursing, me propped up holding the baby, and Haley insanely dancing and climbing and crawling and jumping and singing and giggling!), and worked out for about 45 minutes. Then we went to Target - I had to buy an air mattress. How come I go in there for three things and spend over $200? How does that happen? Well, I know have some new sports bras and Haley has some new pink gear for camping. The girls actually behaved very well. Alexa always behaves (will she at age 4, I wonder?), and Haley was told she could get new shoes if she was a good girl. And she really was! She picked out a pair of Hello Kitty pink strappy sandels. UGH. She fell asleep on the way home, and is still asleep in the car. Alexa just went to sleep upstairs. Finally, some alone time!

Another one!

The day after Adriana had her baby, Ann found out she's pregnant!
That will make five babies under five next January! Could it be another girl???

Our home page

Want to see our home page?
There are lots of pics of us here:
http://homepage.mac.com/jvbaum/PhotoAlbum1.html
Enjoy!

Isadora

My little brother is a daddy! I can't friggin believe it!

Adriana had an incredibly difficult labor that went on for days. She finally delivered this
evening at 5:40pm. She surprised all of us - they didn't find out, and
everyone but my mom was convinced it was a boy - including Adriana!
Well, a little girl, 7'2", popped out and my mom is feeling very smug
- and very happy because she now has four grandchildren, all girls,
all under the age of 4. "Someday I'll take them all to Paris to go
shopping."

A Moment in Time

Tuesday evening, 6:20pm.
Felix is en route home from work.
Haley is watching Sesame Street in the ABC room.
I am cooking dinner.
I am sitting in my office chair, which I wheeled next to the stove. I pick up the spatula and flip the tofu, sizzling in the wok, my purple sweatshirt unzipped, my t-shirt lifted and my breast in Alexa's mouth.

Not what I was expecting to write

I finally ordered the stationary I have been lusting over for years. It's beautiful! It's Cranes! It's green, with dark green ink! There is a retro letter b in a circle, with our return address on the envelope. I love them!

I just wrote the first note on them. It wasn't what I wanted to use these cards for. Here is what I wrote to our neighbors, whom I have never met:

Please accept these funds to cover your veterinarian bills, and please accept our sincere regrets about our dog's actions. In our five years with Loki, he has never done anything like this before. He was attacked by Chloe, another neighbor's dog that was off-leash, in the same location just two months ago. While it doesn't excuse it, perhaps this is where he learned this behavior. We will begin obedience training when he returns from the shelter, where he is currently being held. We do hope you are all okay.

Waaah, I miss my doggie and am really concerned. He and Shardra love to escape the house and it's really hard to get them back inside. If one or both are attacking other dogs while they are out, at some point the city will demand they be put down. I hope obedience is the right way to go. Maybe we should be finding another home for them, one with a large area for them to run with no neighbors? But how do you find a new home for older dogs? And how do you give your beloved pets away, even when you are crazed with two kids and have no time for your pets? Fortunately, they are incredibly well behaved in the house, and very sweet with the girls.

Sigh.

Mental Health Day

I brought Haley to school this morning. My mom is picking her up and taking her to SF after school, so I only have Alexa till ~6:30 when Felix arrives with the babysitter. Our plan is to go to SF and see Thank You for Smoking & then get Haley and return home. Alexa was asleep when I got home from dropping off Haley at 9am. An hour later, instead of rushing off, I canceled my rezzie with the gym's child care and turned on the tube. I have nowhere to go all day!!! I am just lazing about with Alexa. Hopefully she'll take a nap soon cause I want to take a yummy bath. I haven't had a weekend in years - every once in a while it's nice to do nothing (almost - I do stll have a six month old attached to my body!).

Update

I've added my blog url to my sig file, so I guess I'd better post if people are gonna read this!

Alexa started sitting up the other day. She loves to stand so I had to force her to bend at the waist and sit down, but once I did, she got her balance and looked up at my like, wow, this sitting up thing is so cool! She still falls from time to time, which makes her cry, but I think it's more that she's pissed off than hurt. She's generally such a cute, happy baby. I've hired a nanny who's currently just here Tuesday mornings, she can't believe how easy the baby is. Yep - she only cries when she is hungry.

There are lots of ways the girls are different. The one I am learning now is that Alexa loves her food! Haley was never a big eater. When I feed Alexa, which I have only been doing for a couple of weeks, I have to use two spoons. I hand her one and she crams it into her mouth, making a huge mess faster than you can imagine. When the spoon is empty, I show her the new one which she grabs, dropping the first one. Usually I can get it but often it falls and makes the mess even bigger. It's pretty amazing what can happen with a simple tablespoon of peas or sweet potatoes. I read somewhere to add organic butter to her veggies so her body can absorbe the vitamins. I don't know if that's true, but it makes it an easier texture to eat and I bet it's yummier. Everything is better with butter, yes?

I've got "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" racing through my head. Felix & I watched the movie tonight. He nearly fell asleep on the couch at 8pm. It's so hard for us to sit down and watch a movie these days. He's so busy with work and I spend my evenings trying to catch up on everything I can't get done during the day because I am with the girls.

I webcammed with my mom around 6pm tonight, before Felix got home. She saw what goes on every night, which I've tried to explain but you gotta see it to believe it - the girls are insane. I'm trying to make dinner, Haley wants me to make her snacks, watch Sesame Street or Mister Rogers with her (uh, no!), read to her, and play Princess with her (usually all at the same time), and Alexa is falling apart, hungry, and very noisy in her complaints. Man, when that girl starts talking it's never gonna stop! And I am trying to make dinner during all this. Mom said, "Yep, this looks like a typical evening with two kids!" How did she survive the three of us? Yikes.

Just thinking about it is making me tired.

Sleep Update

The so-called "sleep training" (what a horrible phrase!) really worked. My new phrase is - "Milk is for waking up, not for going to sleep." Alexa now naps 2x/day in her crib, and sleeps there all night, too. She nurses while I eat dinner or right after if I can hold her off for a bit so I can actually get some food in me, then I give her a bath (which she loves!), put her in her jammies, read her Goodnight Moon and put her in the crib. She can barely make it through that short little book before she falls completely to pieces. She only cries for a minute or two before she conks out until 6am. I nurse her then on one side only for ten minutes, then again when she wakes for real at 8am. Not bad for younger than 5 months, huh? And Haley is great about sharing a room with her. "Mommy, if Alexa cries I don't listen to her and I keep sleeping." Yep, exactly. Only thing is, I have a portable crib in my bedroom for Alexa's afternoon nap. It's one hour, right in the middle of Haley's 2.5 hour nap, so I'll keep her out of there for now. God forbid Haley's nap doesn't happen!!!

What's really nice about the new way of putting Alexa to bed is that, if I want to, I can nurse her and then hand her off and be done. I'm not the only one who can put her to bed now! Wheeee! Freedom!

Sleep Training

Alexa is four months old and, with exception of the last few weeks, she has been sleeping through the night since she was four weeks old. So it's time to get her back on track. I'm tired!!!

She was super cranky tonight because she had 4 shots today. Surprisingly, this made night one relatively easy, so far. Up till now, I had given her a bath, put on her jammies, and then nursed her to sleep. She usually nursed for nearly an hour, tanking up for that long night of good sleep in front of her.

Tonight, I took her to our usual spot and nursed her like she was going to bed. She was really tired and only nursed for about ten minutes before passing out. I woke her up and carried her back down to the kitchen, where I gave her a bath and put on her jammies. I brought her back upstairs and read her Goodnight Moon, and put her in bed. I turned off the lights and closed the door. I didn't swaddle her like I have done since birth. she cried for a few minutes and is now asleep.

The plan is to nurse her once during the night for now, and phase that out within a week or two. By the end of the second week, she should be sleeping through the night again, hooray! At that time, we will move her from a cosleeper next to my bed to a crib in Haley's room. And there will be much celebration!

Vacation

We've returned from our vacation, which was pretty crazy but a ton of fun if you are 3 1/2! We left the house at 7am and drove to Disneyland, where we stayed till dark. Then we drove to San Diego. We stayed there two days, visiting the Zoo, Balboa Park, Old Town, the Bazaar del Mundo, and Felix's brother, Joe. We drove to La Jolla and took a long hike along the coast and through the town. It was cool, gray and windy but quite beautiful nonetheless. We drove to LA and stayed with my aunt and uncle for four days. That included two more trips back to Disneyland, The Getty Center, a Chanukah party, and dinner with Em Yay and her husband Brett. Next, we drove to Santa Barbara where we stayed over night at Sally's. We had a nice brunch the next morning on the beach and went for a short walk before hitting the road. We drove to Monterey and spent the night there. Our last day was spent at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and then we drove back to the Bay Area. I think the highlight for Haley was meeting Cinderella!



Here we all are at the Getty Center in LA:




And you can see ALL the photos from our trip here: http://www.dabaum.net/socaltrip/